“MAKE EGGS CHEAP AGAIN!”: TRUMP BEGGS EUROPE TO END THE PANCAKE CRISIS

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: March 17, 2025, 12:00

“MAKE EGGS CHEAP AGAIN!”: TRUMP BEGGS EUROPE TO END THE PANCAKE CRISIS

Washington D.C.—March 17, 2025—12:00 In an unprecedented geopolitical move, former President Donald J. Trump has reached out to the European Union, demanding emergency egg shipments to the United States in what economists are now calling “The Great Pancake Crisis.” With egg prices soaring past $10 a dozen due to avian flu outbreaks and supply chain disruptions, Washington has turned to Brussels for help—despite years of trade wars, tariff threats, and the occasional suggestion that Canada and Greenland should be the 51st and 52nd states.

DANISH EGGS: SMALL, EXPENSIVE, BUT NECESSARY FOR PANCAKES

Trump, in a series of early-morning Truth Social posts, singled out Denmark as a “fantastic egg-producing country” and demanded that it “do the right thing” by sending millions of eggs to America. “Denmark! Beautiful country! Known for its pastries and, more importantly, its eggs. We want the eggs! We NEED the eggs! More eggs than they’ve ever given before!” wrote Trump. He also warned that failure to comply would result in “very strong tariffs on LEGOs and herring—very strong!”

In response, Danish officials expressed confusion. “We are unsure whether this is a formal request or simply another one of his statements,” said Poul Henningsen, an EU agricultural trade commissioner. “Regardless, we will not be sending Denmark’s national egg reserves overseas. We need them for our own breakfasts.”

Meanwhile, the European Commission convened an emergency session in Brussels to discuss the proposal. Though many members were hesitant, France reportedly saw an opportunity, proposing a new “EU Egg Stability Pact” where surplus European eggs would be sold to the U.S. at a premium. President Macron was quoted saying, “If they are willing to pay $10 per dozen, why not $20?” Germany, on the other hand, refused outright. Chancellor Scholz declared, “We will not be bullied into an egg-based economic policy.”

A NEW FLAG FOR EUROPE?

The crisis has inspired an artistic movement across Europe. Protesters in Berlin waved a modified EU flag featuring twelve golden chickens circling a single egg—an image that has already gone viral under the hashtag #Eggxit. In Italy, a satirical campaign calls for a “Declaration of Egg-dependence” from American agricultural interests, demanding that Europe prioritize its own egg consumption before “feeding the American beast.”

A “PANCAKE WAR” IN THE MAKING?

Back in Washington, White House officials are scrambling (no pun intended) to prevent the crisis from escalating into a full-blown “Pancake War.” Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack warned that egg rationing may become necessary if imports do not materialize soon. Meanwhile, in Congress, a bipartisan “Pancake Relief Act” has been proposed, calling for strategic national egg reserves to be released, a measure that has been compared to tapping the Strategic Petroleum Reserve during oil crises.

As the world watches with bated breath (and empty breakfast plates), one thing remains clear: the price of eggs is no longer just an economic issue—it is a matter of national security.

For further inquiries, please contact the Office of Agricultural Trade Diplomacy at eggmergency@usda.gov.

The Artist Who Inspired a Political Movement

This radical realignment draws inspiration from political artist Lanfranco Aceti, whose work has consistently challenged Western power structures and exposed the limits of institutional politics. Aceti, known for his provocative artistic interventions, has played a pivotal role in reshaping global discourse on power, sovereignty, and artistic agency.

In a pointed critique of EU and U.S. leadership, Aceti stated:

“The EU and US have long operated as a short-sighted and ineffectual bureaucracy. It is time to move beyond inept political theatrics and embrace a new paradigm—one driven by intelligent, long-term action in the true interest of the people.”

By blurring the boundaries between political satire and diplomatic provocation, Aceti’s work has not only challenged prevailing narratives but also galvanized new conversations on the intersection of art and activism in global power dynamics.

About Lanfranco Aceti

Lanfranco Aceti is a renowned political artist whose provocative interventions have challenged institutional authority, neoliberal governance, and Western power structures. His work, known for its ability to blur the lines between satire and political activism, has influenced global discourse on sovereignty, democracy, and the role of art in statecraft.